Follow along our family's journey, the good, the bad, and the ugly. We have 5 children, 4 boys and 1 girl, and two of our boys are twins on the autism spectrum. Join us on this adventure if you're looking for transparency and encouragement from an imperfect mama!
Babies are gone.
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6/10/2018
6:32PM.
4, 6, 6, 9, 12.
The "babies" of my life are gone. It's so ok. It's fine. It's fine it's fine it's fine. I'm so fine. It's all good. I'm good. I'm so good.
Hey team. Life’s been crazy. Surprise surprise. Everyday there are close to 12 stories I could share that would be entertaining, terrifying, or tragic. But then I get tired and it’s the end of the day and in a few short hours we start all over again. And by the time I think to type something up, 1,405 other stories have already come and gone, and without cataloging them, they’re erased from my mind. It’s probably for the better--if I shared all the yucky, horrible, beautiful, wonderful, terrible things that happen in our world daily, it’d be too much for most. For your sake it’s better that I forget almost instantaneously what happens in my life. I’ll just start rambling and see what comes out. (Warning: I’ve just read through it and it’s a bit of a pity-party. So if you’re having a rosy, lollipop-of-a-day, don’t keep reading and ruin it.) There's a storm brewing. School is out. Luke, my baby, turned 10. And I think I’ve gained about 5 pounds in 5 days. I don’t know how that...
(Originally written in 2018, finally published, in 2022.) I don’t have the words to sum up the last 9 months of my life. Actually that’s not true. I have too many words. And some of them just cannot be shared on this blog. 2018 ended with heartache, and 2019 started with heartache. And it hasn’t actually gone away. That’s the thing about real, deep heartache. Time doesn’t ever fully heal the pain, does it? It can be dulled, it can be momentarily forgotten, it can be lost amongst the more pervasive moments we must deal with day to day. But the heartache doesn’t leave completely. And I’m struggling because I know that so much healing lies on the other side of sharing these heartaches—on the other side of eyes red and raw, on the other side of sobs and gasping for breath type crying, there is opportunity for healing, for empathy, for a willing soul to share in the grief. But I’m struggling because these heartaches run too deep. They cross over into many lives. They have already ...
Levi says thanks! 2 weeks post op Day after We had so many people praying for us, and for Levi, that I wouldn't have been surprised if Levi had been miraculously healed overnight. That, however, wasn't part of God's design. The blessings that came our way were surely Him though, working through prayers. Please be warned, I use the word "blessing" a lot in this post, which may become redundant to the reader, but that is the best word to use in this story...no pseudonyms for this one. I won't be telling people we were super lucky, or very fortunate, and I won't be giving credit to fate, or the universe. This story is about choosing to recognize blessings from God. So for those wondering how it all went down, here is what your prayers got us: From the moment of the diagnosis, I felt peace. I drove up to Orlando with Levi by myself, having spent some time on the internet the day before googling "abnormal infant skull"...
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