Good McLean Fun

We go to school! And we dont hate it! The twins have been in school for little over a month. I know they like it. Not because they say so, but because they don't cry when we pull up to the parking lot, and they allow me to put their tiny backpacks on them, and they walk with me (pushing Levi in the stroller) to the front office, through the school, and to their classroom door.   They are always compliant when walking into school,  and if you know them, you know that says it all. First day could have been hard for me. I totally forgot I was supposed to be taking pictures and documenting their first day, because frankly I was just so unnerved by the whole thing, it felt so surreal, I wasn't thinking about a camera. When we got to the door, they walked right in. Their teacher greeted them warmly, excitedly, and helped them hang up their backpacks. I wasn't sure if I should stay for a few minutes to make sure they were ok, or dip out quickly to make it easier on t...

The ADOS-2, in a nutshell: We (one twin on one day, the other on the next) went into an unremarkable room with a small table and two chairs. The child psychologist and speech pathologist administered the test. The twins 35 months, two weeks old, at the time of eval. They brought out various objects and waited to see how he would interact with them.  They asked him to point to his shoes, show where his hair is, point to his nose, etc. For the most part neither boy complied with these requests. They called the name from across the room but neither boy turned to ever recognize the person calling their name. They asked ME to call their names, and they looked immediately. They brought out a balloon, blew it up, let it go, and clapped. They waited to see if he would request for the balloon to be blown up again, but both boys just stared and waited for them to blow it up. They did not say "more", or "again", or "balloon", or anything to indicate what they wan...

9.12.14 I am writing just to write. I have to get my thoughts out of my head and onto "paper". I realize it will be a little while before I actually bring myself to sharing this post. Jack & Link are just 24 hours from turning 3! Is that possible?! I don't know why I feel like I have to update the www when our family has any developments. I think it's because motherhood is isolating, and it's like the tree that falls in the middle of the forest. If no one knows what's going on in my world, maybe it's so insignificant it isn't worth knowing about. But when others know, when you know what's happening with me, with us, it somehow brings a little validity to it all. And I think it's because I've been so forthcoming with so much of my heart on my blog, it feels odd to carry any substantial news to myself without blogging about it. So the update is that the twins are almost 3, and they are delayed in their language by about 1.5 years. ...

I just wanted to let you all know, a few people in China find me amusing, and I can appreciate their fascination with my chaos. And I'm pretty excited about the pageview lovin from the Ukraine, Indonesia, and my 4 friends in France, India, and the Philippines as well. Mediocrity knows no national bias. Everyone is asleep. I am stupid for not also going to bed. But as all moms know, this time is bliss. This is the time to relax and unwind.  No one is asking me for a drink, no one is crying, no one needs a pencil sharpened, no one needs help putting their clothes away, no one needs a lullaby, no one needs to be disciplined. No one needs pajamas, no one needs to be nursed, no one needs a diaper...When all the No Ones are asleep, it feels like the twilight zone, but it's a good twilight zone.  Going to bed late and losing a bit of that sleep is worth it.  I don't feel guilty being on the computer because after a long day of being needed, no one needs me. No one...

Ever get tired? Feel defeated? Overwhelmed? Totally discouraged? Me either. With Jesus in my heart and a song on my lips, my life is pure joy and contentment. I cannot be moved! Just kidding. That's not the truth. The truth is people call me supermom and wonderwoman, and I'm neither. The truth is I am a pathetic whiny failure who makes too many mistakes to be called good in any way.. and I'm a baby. The truth is when I say my house is a disaster, it really is. Few can compare. The truth is everyone said the first year of having twins was the hardest, and in reality it has only gotten harder. The truth is the twins have the speech development of 18month olds, and when I stop holding on to peace, other things rush in. Things like discouragement, defeat, disbelief, anger, guilt, and envy. The truth is I sometimes compare them to their older siblings and get so irritated with them I want to quit. The truth is I have five beautiful children but my favorite part of the d...

Levi says thanks! 2 weeks post op Day after We had so many people praying for us, and for Levi, that I wouldn't have been surprised if Levi had been miraculously healed overnight.  That, however, wasn't part of God's design. The blessings that came our way were surely Him though, working through prayers. Please be warned, I use the word "blessing" a lot in this post, which may become redundant to the reader, but that is the best word to use in this story...no pseudonyms for this one. I won't be telling people we were super lucky, or very fortunate, and I won't be giving credit to fate, or the universe. This story is about choosing to recognize blessings from God.  So for those wondering how it all went down, here is what your prayers got us: From the moment of the diagnosis, I felt peace. I drove up to Orlando with Levi by myself, having spent some time on the internet the day before googling "abnormal infant skull"...

This is one of those special moments in a parent's life where they just don't want to forget all the fun details of a unique experience.  My sister tells me I'm long-winded, and this post will prove her right. I could tell this story in a few sentences, but that won't capture the range of emotion I want to convey. Parents will be able to empathize, and those without kids may feel like I'm exaggerating what was probably just a slightly stressful time. To be too honest, I could not care any less about your perception of how this went down. I was there. I know what it felt like. My parenting risk management skills have really been refined since having twins. I don't get to take them very many places, not because I am a lazy mom, but because it just is not safe to have two toddlers or now 2 year olds out with only one adult to watch them. They are too "full of life" to be trusted in some situations. Sometimes the guilt sets in and I get this heavy sink...

I've never been one for too many details. I hope I'm known as a go-with-the-flow type of woman, friend, wife, mom...one who rolls with the punches. (I'm working on my epitaph, so far I've got "Danielle McLean, proven pelvis, rolled with the punches.) Truth is it's easy for me because compared to some, I haven't really had a lot of punches to roll with. As I've said many times, my life is beautiful. So I don't take a lot of effort in the planning of minor details. That is not how I've been wired which, it turns out, is fantastic, because I have a bunch of kids now and details get lost in the mess.  Sure, I have some general and unambitious "plans" for my life, such as: 1. Get my own bedroom.  Check. (freshman year of college, first time having my own room) 2. Graduate from college. Check. (UCF, c/o 2005) 3. Marry my high school sweetheart  a humble, funny, handsome, strong, kind, honest, pre-screened and pre-selected by God, most pat...